The Ex-Games

I ask you, how would you classify yourself? Are you one of those people who are in the now? Or are you the other kind that’s the “down the road” type? The things that you do, do you do them to benefit now or later?

For me, personally, I’m a “now” girl. I’m the girl who spends every last dime in her bank account because it just burns a hole a whole sitting there. I’m the one who has the savings account to solely protect against unfortunate, but inevitable, overdraft fees. I’m a freelancer, so I work job to job. One job might last for two weeks and another job might last four months. Right now, if you asked me what I would be working on in three weeks, I honestly, could not tell you. I take it as it all comes my way. Maybe I’m irresponsible or just too laid back, but honestly, I just do what I want. I think the saying is, “I’m old enough to know better, but young enough not to care.” I’m 25-years-old. What rush am I in to think about the future?

I mean have been in two serious relationships in my life. The first one would be with a Mr. Randolph Towers (my first post-college apartment building). My oh my, he was great; a little rough around the edges, but all-in-all, very reliable. He did have a tendency to smell a bit during the hot and humid summer months, but because I was in love, I learned to deal with it. He lasted about 2 years and 5 months. To date, the longest. The next longest commitment I have ever been in was with a certain Mr. PricewaterhouseCoopers (first full-time job). Sometimes he treated me well, and other times, I wanted to smack him. That worked out for about a decent 23 months, but of course, I got bored and antsy. It was time to move on.

So I think it’s safe for me to say and for you to assume, that I have never been in a relationship. Have I ever wanted to, ehh… maybe when I was in high school. Nowadays, I just laugh at that statement, and you can feel free take that as me saying HELL NO.

For all of you romantic saps out of there, no, this is not a tragedy. I actually like to think it’s the smart move. I was watching the return of One Tree Hill on Monday night (yes, I’m obsessed with just about every CW tv show that comes out), and I was watching Sophia Bush and Austin Nichols rekindle their on-screen relationship. Meanwhile they are a legitimate couple off-screen as well. Obviously, when you spend so much time with another person, it’s not unusual to start having feelings for the other person. I’m sure most of us have been there before. But what happens when you’re in an off-screen relationship with an on-screen co-worker and things end worse than the expected coming apocalypse?

Then, I remembered, Sophia Bush was once married to Chad Michael Murray. Their relationship only lasted five months before the impending and inevitable divorce happened after rumors surfaced that he cheated on her with Paris Hilton while filming the Wax House. I mean really, cheating on your wife while making one of Hollywood’s worse scary movies? Now, that’s just silly. Anyway, after their divorce, Bush and Murray will still forced to work with each other. She came out in an interview saying that acting on OTH was her job, and despite her disdain for her ex, she had to be professional. Mad props to you Sophia Bush because when I dislike someone as much as you probably disliked Mr. Murray, I can’t even look at a person in the eyes, nonetheless pretend we’re BFF. I don’t know how you do it. I think I would quit and look for my next gig.

Then, there’s the whole Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz reunion in “Bad Teacher.” As we all saw on the covers of every single tabloid, I’m sure that Jessica Biel was not very happy with that little arrangement. God only knows that if I had a boyfriend like him, and he was working with someone like her, I would be on set everyday making sure that no hanky-panky was going on.

I don’t know how these people do it. I, often say that I’m socially awkward. Some people believe be, and some people don’t. Can you imagine how I would act if I had to pretend to be my real-life ex-boyfriend’s fake girlfriend solely for entertainment purposes? Dude, I would go absolutely nutso. That’s like cruel and unusual punishment. So to all of you ladies and gents out there, who put aside their personal feelings and work closely with an ex-significant other, give yourself a big ol’ pat on the back because there is no way in the world I could ever do what you do. You, my friends, deserve some sort of shiny and pretty trophy.

I Yam What I Yam

I’m a girl, and I like golf. I grew up with a golf-playing and golf-watching father. My pops even put me in private golfing lessons as a teenager. I think he was hoping for the next Korean superstar of the LPGA. Too bad I absolutely sucked, still do, but, hey, I enjoy the game anyway. I was stoked about seeing Tiger Woods come back into the game at this year’s Masters Tournament. Unfortunately, I was a little disappointed when I heard he said the following in his press conference preceding the tournament:

“I made a conscious decision to try and tone down my negative outbursts and consequently I’m sure my positive outbursts will be calmed down, as well… Just trying to be more respectful of the game and acknowledge the fans like I did today.”

If you’ve ever watched Tiger Woods play before this tournament, you know that his decorum isn’t the most pleasant on the course, but hey, that’s what you can do when you’re the world’s greatest golfer and athlete. Tiger Woods isn’t known for his smiling face and his optimistic attitude. To be honest, I think that’s another reason as to why I like the guy. He’s a real person. I can guarantee that if I was playing this sport, where an entire gallery of people is watching me and only me and where analyzing every external factor becomes an art, I wouldn’t be the most cordial person either.

Why, Tiger, are you changing your persona now? As I was watching Thursday’s airing of the Masters, one of the commentators was saying, “Gosh, there’s a lot more smiling and talking out there on the course. A lot more than usual.” Tiger, if this need for change is genuine, then sure, go ahead and be a “better” person. Granted the smiling face and upbeat attitude only lasted for so long, but, if that attempt was just a cheap public relations ploy, well then, you have totally lost yourself. The reason I love Tiger Woods so much is because he is a phenomenal golfer. Yes, he got married, had a few kids, and inevitably had multiple affairs. Sorry about it, but I didn’t like him because he was the world’s most upstanding guy (even though, I still don’t think he should have cheated on his wife… if he didn’t think he could keep it in your pants, then he shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place… just another reason why I’m against relationships in the first place but we’ll save that for another article).

So, I have to ask, why do people try to change themselves to appeal to the masses? Aren’t we supposed to be proud of who we are? No one is perfect. I know I’m far from it, but I am who I am. I like to think that I’m smart, driven, funny at times, sarcastic, witty, a good friend, a good daughter, and a good sister. But at the same time, I know I can be a bitch. Many of my friends have told me that they’re glad they’ve never been on my bad side. Yes, I have an attitude, mainly towards people I don’t like though. I have my own opinions that will most certainly differ than other people’s opinions and thus, head-butting is inevitable. I can name a lot of people who probably don’t like me. I can name people who have met me once and didn’t like me. I can name people who probably don’t even know me and don’t like me. I can even name people who were once friends of mine and now don’t like me. And the same goes the other way around. Trying to appease everyone is absolutely impossible. What’s so wrong with having a defined vision of your own and just being the person you are? I do what I think is right for myself, my family, and my friends. If I did what everyone else wanted me to do, one, I would never be able to do anything, and two, how would I be able to sleep at night knowing that the wrong decision was made?! (If you know me, then you know I’m always right… tee hee hee.) The things that we go through in life define us as people. Some people go through worse things than others, things that they wouldn’t wish upon their greatest “frenemies,” and others have a relatively smooth life in the grand scheme of things. But every action that is made helps us to realize our own thoughts and beliefs and the person that we want to be in life. Your true friends are always going to be there for you because they know the real person and the good intentions made throughout your friendships. Ultimately, I would just rather be a person of my own self-standing than someone who is so unsure of herself that she has to tip-toe around other people to prevent “hurting someone else’s feelings.” I think we’re old enough to accept that fact and to move on with life. Sometimes, you just have to ask yourself, “So What?”

Love at First Sight... Really?!

Have you ever thought of the number of words we use to describe someone’s appearance? Hot. Cute. Pretty. Studly. Handsome. Built. Gorgeous. Elegant. Classy. I mean there has to be a million different word options. I find it to be a funny concept that a person’s physical appearance is the first aspect of a person that we notice and we judge. By the way, judging can be a good and a bad thing. It’s a part of human nature that we do this, but I still think it’s an interesting concept.

So, on that note, I would like to know who actually believes in “love at first sight?” Is that phrase really used that often anymore? Before this article, I can’t tell you the last time I said those four little words. Obviously, love has a good amount of different contexts that it can be used in. For instance, I love Peanut M&Ms, or I love my job (sarcastic… perhaps), or I love dogs, and definitely I love my family and my friends. But this kind of “love” can’t really be used as any of those. Love as it relates to this phrase is more so used almost as an immediate physical connection with this other person where love isn’t love at all. Let’s change this phrase around a bit and call it “lust at first sight?” Yup, I think that works better. I mean really, how can you LOVE someone at FIRST sight? I personally don’t think it’s possible, but maybe you have some “Love Potion #9” and for you, it’s possible. If you’re one of those people who has lived through love at first sight and has married your significant other based on that instant moment, congratulations, you have beat everyone else out at that chance. You are that “one” person the rule does not apply to (thank you, “He’s Just Not That Into You” for opening our eyes to that entire concept). So to you, don’t get mouth-happy and go around telling other people that it could happen to them, because it most likely won’t. That one exception is you.

I see the relationships that my friends are involved in, and I’m going to estimate that about 80% (and that’s a conservative underestimate) of them have been established from friendships. Not many that I know of have started from a random night at a bar, although those stories of “how we met” are always the best. Relationships are built on one person being attracted to the other (of course) but also common thoughts and wants. Those relationships that are based solely around physical looks, where having an intelligent conversation with a wall is more stimulating than talking to the other person, those, my friend, are doomed for failure. Obviously, you can’t learn everything about one person in one moment of looking at him or her. That’s why relationships blossoming from friendships evolve. It’s like you go to sleep at night, then wake up in the morning and realize, “holy crap, I really like this guy… when in the hell did that happen?” You learn so much about the other person when you’re just friends that their personality becomes the attractive characteristic, not their entire physical appearance, and then you start actually liking your friend more than a friend. When you and the other person agree on where to eat or where you want to live ten years down the road or drive each other to strive to be better, that’s when the light bulb goes off, where you start thinking, “I might be able to see myself with this person.” Yes, when you start having these thoughts come into your mind, the friendship might get a little complicated and maybe, somewhat awkward, but it’s a part of life. I don’t even think this next part needs to be said, but it will be, clearly not all of these situations always work out like a fairy tale. You might have feelings for the friend that the friend doesn’t reciprocate, and it might suck a bit, but hey, we’re all adults. We can deal. But then there are those times that couldn’t be played out any better… where the chance was the worth it. So for my friends who have feelings for their friends, speak up now or forever hold your peace. Despite the outcome, it’s always better to know than regret.

So when did we all grow up? I suppose that the saying is right, “with age, comes wisdom.”

P.S. This is about as optimistic as you’ll get me to be when it comes to relationships and the like.