“Move Along, Move Along Just to Make it Through”

We all do it my friends. Yesiree we do. We do it by ourselves. We do it with others. We do it in our cars. We do it in our rooms. We even do it in the shower. If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, then you know doing “it” makes us all scream out for joy.

What is “it” you must be wondering? Well, ladies and gentlemen, give yourself a pat on the back because congratulations, we all rock out to our favorite songs and even our not-so-favorite-but-very-catchy songs. (P.S. Get your heads out of the gutter. What did you think I was talking about?) Singing along is like a channel for our emotions when we’re super stoked about something going on or really pissed off at someone for doing something ridiculous. Singing, whether you’re as phenomenal as Celine Dion or suck worse than a live Taylor Swift, it’s just a fun act of living.

We took it as a matter of fate, but whenever my friend Kenna and I were in the same car together, The All-American Rejects song “Move Along” always came on. We’re not the best singers out there (sorry Miss Kenna Kenna, but it’s true), but holy hell did we rock the car with our trying-to-dance-in-our-seat moves and our superb knowledge of the lyrics. Regardless of who heard us, or even saw us, we had a good time. It’s a cold, hard fact that singing makes people happy.

So there I was the other day, sitting in traffic trying to get out of Santa Monica during rush hour. Justin Bieber’s “Baby” comes on. It’s a popular song out in the music industry now, and I caught myself singing to inevitable catchy lyrics. Let’s take a look…

“My first love broke my heart for the first time,

And I was like

Baby, baby, baby, ohhh

Like baby, baby, baby, nooo

Like baby, baby, baby, ohhh

I thought you’d always be mine”

A little bit more song and then…

“For you, I would have done whatever

And I just can’t believe we ain’t together

And I wanna play it cool, but I’m losin’ you

I’ll buy you anything; I’ll buy you any ring

And I’m in pieces, baby fix me

And just shake me ‘til you wake me from this bad dream”

And then, I started wondering. I rushed home, popped open my laptop and did some Googling. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that Justin Bieber was born on March 1, 1994, which means he JUST turned 16. Is he even of legal age to drive a car these days? And yet, here he is, on the radio singing about getting his heart broken. This little boy child is trying to relate to us by performing a song about how his life is over because his first true love is gone. Hrm… really? First off, I don’t think he’s even hit puberty yet. I’m pretty sure my voice is deeper than his. Secondly, I mean hell, I’m 25-years-old and I haven’t even been in love or had my heart broken. A time or two before, my heart had received falsified information and THOUGHT it was broken, but in reality, it was just pissed off at stupid people. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid and his music, but shouldn’t he be singing about butterflies and rainbows and girls having cooties (the total opposite message of that song)?

I mean look at this whole larger picture. People wonder why these young, famous people start acting out as if they are older, well it’s probably because we make them feel older so they think they are. Their agents, parents, talent reps, and whoever else that deals with their careers put these kids in situations where a 16-year-old is trying to interpret his music of love and heartbreak to the rest of the world. Obviously, he needs to come up with these types of emotions in order to do a decent job of singing it. Like all the judges on American Idol say… you have to feeeeel the music. Little Bieber is trying to feel things that a 25-year-old hasn’t even felt.

Look at it from the film/television side of things as well. Actors and actresses always play roles above their age. I would find it a rare occurrence for an actor to actually play a character of his or her own age group (plus or minus a year or two to the actual age). But again, these people are trying to channel situations and feelings that they wouldn’t normally have at their age. I think if you ask any movie fan or critic, actors are only as good as they can channel their characters. If you continue to give these children more mature roles, where are they able to bring themselves back to reality and act like a child? And don’t most parents fight for their kids to remain kids rather than growing up too quickly? Shouldn’t we just let them be their own age? Again here I am, a quarter of a century old, and I still act like I’m 16-years-old at time. Minus my sarcasm and at times, funny wit, I would like to think I still have the charisma of a child. You think children, and you think innocence and genuineness, something that with most people is lost as we get older. So for now, I think we should take a few minutes out of our day and remember what it was like to be young again… when the biggest problems in our lives were our parents not letting us stay out past curfew or who we were going to invite to our next high school dance. Think about it, those were the days my friends.

I Didn’t Get All Dressed up for Nothin’…

Dedicated to Keren Bogaczyk for finally breaking my writer's block... And on to the show...

Do you know what really grinds my gears America? I’ll tell you what really grinds my gears… annoying and/or stupid people. You really will hear me saying, quite often I might add, I hate stupid people. Not even like “book” stupid people because what you might be lacking in book smarts, you might know in “street” smarts. That’s okay. But here’s what I’m talking about…

Those people who talk constantly and who talk to hear their own voice. It’s like, thanks for wasting the last 20 seconds of my life. I now want to smack you so that you lose 20 seconds of your life. You have no point. You make no sense. Just stop talking.

Those people that constantly complain about things that they could easily fix, but don’t do anything about it. Venting is one thing. Being a constant pain in my ass is totally different.

Smart people who pretend to be stupid. Really?! Are you five? Do you think that’s attractive? What makes you think that having a more intelligent conversation with a wall than you is a positive thing? And you know what, that can go either way… stupid people who try to be smart really grind my gears as well.

People who leave about 5 cars’ length in front of them while driving or stopped at a light. And for that matter, people who let car after car after car in front of them and then YOU’RE the one to get stuck at a red light.

Steelers fans. That’s all I need to say about that.

But do you know those people that really irk me more than any other type that I’ve already mentioned?! The people who get DRESSED UP to go to the gym! Congratulations, you have achieved the crown for queen of the stupid people. Give yourself a pat on the back. I just want to yell in their face, "HELLOOOOO, YOU’RE WORKING OUT!" Granted, I do go to a gym in Beverly Hills, and I shouldn’t expect less, but come on now. You’re there to run or do some other form of cardio or to lift or something. This is NOT fashion show. I repeat… this is NOT a fashion show.

You know how in movies, they always show girls playing sports with their hair down? Seeing girls who are dressed up at the gym is like that. It’s just wrong. And I can tell you (along with any other girl that has played a competitive sport), as an ex-soccer player, no girl runs around on the field chasing a ball with their hair down. It’s not feasible. You would think that movie directors would catch on to this nonsense and learn to be a BIT more realistic and show these players with their hair pulled back into a pony tail. I mean hell, if you want them to look cute, put their hair in French braid pig tails and ribbons. That’s what I used to do in 6^th Grade. (It was the cool thing to do back then, don’t judge.)

For a perfect example to this article, as I was working out on Saturday, I saw a girl on the elliptical, probably moving as fast as my dimentiated grandmother would on a treadmill. Her ridiculously long hair was just chillin; no pony tail, no headband, no nothing. She looked like she just walked in off the street, with make-up caked on like whoa times ten and eye make-up darker than anything I would even wear. She was sporting tight black spandex and a cropped, blue spandex top. I don’t think she even broke a sweat. But don’t worry; she was scanning the gym for her future husband like a hawk stalks down its prey.

Let me tell you, when I walk into the gym, I am usually wearing boy's lacrosse shorts and a white Hanes t-shirt (occasionally if I AM feeling fancy, I’ll throw on an Under Armour shirt). Not to mention the fact that I have a ridiculously huge, bulky black knee brace I have to wear. Make-up is washed off. Hair is back in a bun with a hair band wrapped around my entire head to keep all the loose strands back. If you want to talk about the total opposite of cute, that’s it… right there. But hey, I’m there to break a sweat and work out some frustration. It’s only a gym, who would have thought… people, working out? Crazy notion I tell you. So as I conclude this article, I have one plea for all of you... if you want to dress to impress, go somewhere else where people actually care what you look like. If you have resorted to playing your tricks at a gym, congratulations… you have officially hit rock bottom. Oh, and your ridiculousness is not wanted at MY gym! Thank you and good night.

Lions and Tigers and Bears... I Don't Think So...

Dedicated to all of my fellow Twi-hards and fans of True Blood. Enjoy!

P.S. If you don’t know what’s going to happen with the Twilight books and want to find out by reading the books, then don’t read this post yet. It will spoil the last couple of parts… And now, on to the show…

“Lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!” That is classic line from The Wizard of Oz. But come on now, lions and tigers and bears? How 1939! (P.S. In case you didn’t know, that’s when The Wizard of Oz was released.) Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to get caught up with this decade; it’s time to get caught up with what really tickles our fancy these days… “Werewolves and vampires and fairies, OH MY!”

If you know me at all, you knew this article was inevitable, and you know my small obsession for vampires (and creatures of the like). As a fact about me, I read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn in less than seven days. I had to come home from work during my lunch break to find out how Bella and Edward were going to escape the Volturi in Italy. I attempted to go out on the weekends, but how could I get shwasted-face when Bella was being chased down by evil, revenge-seeking vampires and then when she had to choose between her hunky, smart, eloquent vampire and her rustic, down-to-earth, extremely toned, way too young werewolf? How could I live in my own boring and lackluster life when Bella and Edward were on Esme’s Island “doing things?” Lastly, how could I sleep when Bella and Edward had a half vampire, half human child that Jacob had imprinted on and vampire royalty was coming to destroy her? I mean I have to ask you again… HOW?! How is it possible?!

Needless to say, I was a fanatic, but based on discussions with my other girl friends, I wasn’t the only one. 80% of the girls I knew were hooked. Since my friend Michelle knew I couldn’t get enough, she introduced me to The Sookie Stackhouse novels. Another nine books conquered in less than two weeks. I delved further into this black hole of science fiction, hoping of the slight chance this fantasy could come true. So I have to wonder, with hundreds of thousands of other people out there with the same addiction as me, is the werewolf, vampire, and fairy fad here to stay?

You have to admit, since 2008, movies about vampires and other supernatural creatures have been overtaking the big screens as well as home theatres. Let me list a few…

• Twilight (movie)
• New Moon (movie)
• True Blood (tv series)
• Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (movie)
• The Vampire Diaries (tv series)
• The Vampire’s Assistant: Cirque du Freak (movie)
• Daybreakers (movie)

Yes, there’s more, but in an effort to keep this article fewer than two pages, I’m going to stop. Don’t worry the list for upcoming vampire movies for the rest of 2010 and beyond is just as long, if not longer.

So what do you think? Vampires and the like are here to stay or their future is as sure to fading as a vampire is to combust in the sunlight? I think it’s a two-sided answer. Movies like Twilight and series like True Blood will last for much longer because they already have a cult-like following. Twi-hards would rather die before getting the opportunity to see the fourth book on the big screen. And True Blood has the perks of appealing to both guys and girls, and as long as they stick closely enough to the books, it only gets more exciting. On the other hand, new movies with no foundation already instilled on their target audience are doomed for failure. Either the plot lines are going to be too far off of what people really want to watch (i.e. The Vampires Assistant, which according to IMDB was budgeted at an estimated $40M and only made $6M in the States) or they’re going to be too closely related to the already big-time vampire stories and be called knock-offs. And really, who wants to be a fan of a knock-off instead of the real thing? I mean come on now, that’s like preferring regular, off-the-street white trash over the cast of The Jersey Shore. Now really, who wants that?

I’m very much looking forward to the release of Eclipse (which btw, definitely watched that trailer enough times to single-handedly collapse the Internet) and Breaking Dawn (2011 can’t come soon enough) and the remaining seasons of True Blood (let’s see if you can make it all the way to Season 10 because my heart will definitely break if you don’t). But for the rest of these vampire movies coming out, trying to be the next hot thing, do what the vampires do: dig a grave for yourself and disappear into the night because your future is as doomed as driving a Toyota Prius (wait… too soon?).