Love at First Sight... Really?!

Have you ever thought of the number of words we use to describe someone’s appearance? Hot. Cute. Pretty. Studly. Handsome. Built. Gorgeous. Elegant. Classy. I mean there has to be a million different word options. I find it to be a funny concept that a person’s physical appearance is the first aspect of a person that we notice and we judge. By the way, judging can be a good and a bad thing. It’s a part of human nature that we do this, but I still think it’s an interesting concept.

So, on that note, I would like to know who actually believes in “love at first sight?” Is that phrase really used that often anymore? Before this article, I can’t tell you the last time I said those four little words. Obviously, love has a good amount of different contexts that it can be used in. For instance, I love Peanut M&Ms, or I love my job (sarcastic… perhaps), or I love dogs, and definitely I love my family and my friends. But this kind of “love” can’t really be used as any of those. Love as it relates to this phrase is more so used almost as an immediate physical connection with this other person where love isn’t love at all. Let’s change this phrase around a bit and call it “lust at first sight?” Yup, I think that works better. I mean really, how can you LOVE someone at FIRST sight? I personally don’t think it’s possible, but maybe you have some “Love Potion #9” and for you, it’s possible. If you’re one of those people who has lived through love at first sight and has married your significant other based on that instant moment, congratulations, you have beat everyone else out at that chance. You are that “one” person the rule does not apply to (thank you, “He’s Just Not That Into You” for opening our eyes to that entire concept). So to you, don’t get mouth-happy and go around telling other people that it could happen to them, because it most likely won’t. That one exception is you.

I see the relationships that my friends are involved in, and I’m going to estimate that about 80% (and that’s a conservative underestimate) of them have been established from friendships. Not many that I know of have started from a random night at a bar, although those stories of “how we met” are always the best. Relationships are built on one person being attracted to the other (of course) but also common thoughts and wants. Those relationships that are based solely around physical looks, where having an intelligent conversation with a wall is more stimulating than talking to the other person, those, my friend, are doomed for failure. Obviously, you can’t learn everything about one person in one moment of looking at him or her. That’s why relationships blossoming from friendships evolve. It’s like you go to sleep at night, then wake up in the morning and realize, “holy crap, I really like this guy… when in the hell did that happen?” You learn so much about the other person when you’re just friends that their personality becomes the attractive characteristic, not their entire physical appearance, and then you start actually liking your friend more than a friend. When you and the other person agree on where to eat or where you want to live ten years down the road or drive each other to strive to be better, that’s when the light bulb goes off, where you start thinking, “I might be able to see myself with this person.” Yes, when you start having these thoughts come into your mind, the friendship might get a little complicated and maybe, somewhat awkward, but it’s a part of life. I don’t even think this next part needs to be said, but it will be, clearly not all of these situations always work out like a fairy tale. You might have feelings for the friend that the friend doesn’t reciprocate, and it might suck a bit, but hey, we’re all adults. We can deal. But then there are those times that couldn’t be played out any better… where the chance was the worth it. So for my friends who have feelings for their friends, speak up now or forever hold your peace. Despite the outcome, it’s always better to know than regret.

So when did we all grow up? I suppose that the saying is right, “with age, comes wisdom.”

P.S. This is about as optimistic as you’ll get me to be when it comes to relationships and the like.