The Ex-Games

I ask you, how would you classify yourself? Are you one of those people who are in the now? Or are you the other kind that’s the “down the road” type? The things that you do, do you do them to benefit now or later?

For me, personally, I’m a “now” girl. I’m the girl who spends every last dime in her bank account because it just burns a hole a whole sitting there. I’m the one who has the savings account to solely protect against unfortunate, but inevitable, overdraft fees. I’m a freelancer, so I work job to job. One job might last for two weeks and another job might last four months. Right now, if you asked me what I would be working on in three weeks, I honestly, could not tell you. I take it as it all comes my way. Maybe I’m irresponsible or just too laid back, but honestly, I just do what I want. I think the saying is, “I’m old enough to know better, but young enough not to care.” I’m 25-years-old. What rush am I in to think about the future?

I mean have been in two serious relationships in my life. The first one would be with a Mr. Randolph Towers (my first post-college apartment building). My oh my, he was great; a little rough around the edges, but all-in-all, very reliable. He did have a tendency to smell a bit during the hot and humid summer months, but because I was in love, I learned to deal with it. He lasted about 2 years and 5 months. To date, the longest. The next longest commitment I have ever been in was with a certain Mr. PricewaterhouseCoopers (first full-time job). Sometimes he treated me well, and other times, I wanted to smack him. That worked out for about a decent 23 months, but of course, I got bored and antsy. It was time to move on.

So I think it’s safe for me to say and for you to assume, that I have never been in a relationship. Have I ever wanted to, ehh… maybe when I was in high school. Nowadays, I just laugh at that statement, and you can feel free take that as me saying HELL NO.

For all of you romantic saps out of there, no, this is not a tragedy. I actually like to think it’s the smart move. I was watching the return of One Tree Hill on Monday night (yes, I’m obsessed with just about every CW tv show that comes out), and I was watching Sophia Bush and Austin Nichols rekindle their on-screen relationship. Meanwhile they are a legitimate couple off-screen as well. Obviously, when you spend so much time with another person, it’s not unusual to start having feelings for the other person. I’m sure most of us have been there before. But what happens when you’re in an off-screen relationship with an on-screen co-worker and things end worse than the expected coming apocalypse?

Then, I remembered, Sophia Bush was once married to Chad Michael Murray. Their relationship only lasted five months before the impending and inevitable divorce happened after rumors surfaced that he cheated on her with Paris Hilton while filming the Wax House. I mean really, cheating on your wife while making one of Hollywood’s worse scary movies? Now, that’s just silly. Anyway, after their divorce, Bush and Murray will still forced to work with each other. She came out in an interview saying that acting on OTH was her job, and despite her disdain for her ex, she had to be professional. Mad props to you Sophia Bush because when I dislike someone as much as you probably disliked Mr. Murray, I can’t even look at a person in the eyes, nonetheless pretend we’re BFF. I don’t know how you do it. I think I would quit and look for my next gig.

Then, there’s the whole Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz reunion in “Bad Teacher.” As we all saw on the covers of every single tabloid, I’m sure that Jessica Biel was not very happy with that little arrangement. God only knows that if I had a boyfriend like him, and he was working with someone like her, I would be on set everyday making sure that no hanky-panky was going on.

I don’t know how these people do it. I, often say that I’m socially awkward. Some people believe be, and some people don’t. Can you imagine how I would act if I had to pretend to be my real-life ex-boyfriend’s fake girlfriend solely for entertainment purposes? Dude, I would go absolutely nutso. That’s like cruel and unusual punishment. So to all of you ladies and gents out there, who put aside their personal feelings and work closely with an ex-significant other, give yourself a big ol’ pat on the back because there is no way in the world I could ever do what you do. You, my friends, deserve some sort of shiny and pretty trophy.

I Yam What I Yam

I’m a girl, and I like golf. I grew up with a golf-playing and golf-watching father. My pops even put me in private golfing lessons as a teenager. I think he was hoping for the next Korean superstar of the LPGA. Too bad I absolutely sucked, still do, but, hey, I enjoy the game anyway. I was stoked about seeing Tiger Woods come back into the game at this year’s Masters Tournament. Unfortunately, I was a little disappointed when I heard he said the following in his press conference preceding the tournament:

“I made a conscious decision to try and tone down my negative outbursts and consequently I’m sure my positive outbursts will be calmed down, as well… Just trying to be more respectful of the game and acknowledge the fans like I did today.”

If you’ve ever watched Tiger Woods play before this tournament, you know that his decorum isn’t the most pleasant on the course, but hey, that’s what you can do when you’re the world’s greatest golfer and athlete. Tiger Woods isn’t known for his smiling face and his optimistic attitude. To be honest, I think that’s another reason as to why I like the guy. He’s a real person. I can guarantee that if I was playing this sport, where an entire gallery of people is watching me and only me and where analyzing every external factor becomes an art, I wouldn’t be the most cordial person either.

Why, Tiger, are you changing your persona now? As I was watching Thursday’s airing of the Masters, one of the commentators was saying, “Gosh, there’s a lot more smiling and talking out there on the course. A lot more than usual.” Tiger, if this need for change is genuine, then sure, go ahead and be a “better” person. Granted the smiling face and upbeat attitude only lasted for so long, but, if that attempt was just a cheap public relations ploy, well then, you have totally lost yourself. The reason I love Tiger Woods so much is because he is a phenomenal golfer. Yes, he got married, had a few kids, and inevitably had multiple affairs. Sorry about it, but I didn’t like him because he was the world’s most upstanding guy (even though, I still don’t think he should have cheated on his wife… if he didn’t think he could keep it in your pants, then he shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place… just another reason why I’m against relationships in the first place but we’ll save that for another article).

So, I have to ask, why do people try to change themselves to appeal to the masses? Aren’t we supposed to be proud of who we are? No one is perfect. I know I’m far from it, but I am who I am. I like to think that I’m smart, driven, funny at times, sarcastic, witty, a good friend, a good daughter, and a good sister. But at the same time, I know I can be a bitch. Many of my friends have told me that they’re glad they’ve never been on my bad side. Yes, I have an attitude, mainly towards people I don’t like though. I have my own opinions that will most certainly differ than other people’s opinions and thus, head-butting is inevitable. I can name a lot of people who probably don’t like me. I can name people who have met me once and didn’t like me. I can name people who probably don’t even know me and don’t like me. I can even name people who were once friends of mine and now don’t like me. And the same goes the other way around. Trying to appease everyone is absolutely impossible. What’s so wrong with having a defined vision of your own and just being the person you are? I do what I think is right for myself, my family, and my friends. If I did what everyone else wanted me to do, one, I would never be able to do anything, and two, how would I be able to sleep at night knowing that the wrong decision was made?! (If you know me, then you know I’m always right… tee hee hee.) The things that we go through in life define us as people. Some people go through worse things than others, things that they wouldn’t wish upon their greatest “frenemies,” and others have a relatively smooth life in the grand scheme of things. But every action that is made helps us to realize our own thoughts and beliefs and the person that we want to be in life. Your true friends are always going to be there for you because they know the real person and the good intentions made throughout your friendships. Ultimately, I would just rather be a person of my own self-standing than someone who is so unsure of herself that she has to tip-toe around other people to prevent “hurting someone else’s feelings.” I think we’re old enough to accept that fact and to move on with life. Sometimes, you just have to ask yourself, “So What?”

Love at First Sight... Really?!

Have you ever thought of the number of words we use to describe someone’s appearance? Hot. Cute. Pretty. Studly. Handsome. Built. Gorgeous. Elegant. Classy. I mean there has to be a million different word options. I find it to be a funny concept that a person’s physical appearance is the first aspect of a person that we notice and we judge. By the way, judging can be a good and a bad thing. It’s a part of human nature that we do this, but I still think it’s an interesting concept.

So, on that note, I would like to know who actually believes in “love at first sight?” Is that phrase really used that often anymore? Before this article, I can’t tell you the last time I said those four little words. Obviously, love has a good amount of different contexts that it can be used in. For instance, I love Peanut M&Ms, or I love my job (sarcastic… perhaps), or I love dogs, and definitely I love my family and my friends. But this kind of “love” can’t really be used as any of those. Love as it relates to this phrase is more so used almost as an immediate physical connection with this other person where love isn’t love at all. Let’s change this phrase around a bit and call it “lust at first sight?” Yup, I think that works better. I mean really, how can you LOVE someone at FIRST sight? I personally don’t think it’s possible, but maybe you have some “Love Potion #9” and for you, it’s possible. If you’re one of those people who has lived through love at first sight and has married your significant other based on that instant moment, congratulations, you have beat everyone else out at that chance. You are that “one” person the rule does not apply to (thank you, “He’s Just Not That Into You” for opening our eyes to that entire concept). So to you, don’t get mouth-happy and go around telling other people that it could happen to them, because it most likely won’t. That one exception is you.

I see the relationships that my friends are involved in, and I’m going to estimate that about 80% (and that’s a conservative underestimate) of them have been established from friendships. Not many that I know of have started from a random night at a bar, although those stories of “how we met” are always the best. Relationships are built on one person being attracted to the other (of course) but also common thoughts and wants. Those relationships that are based solely around physical looks, where having an intelligent conversation with a wall is more stimulating than talking to the other person, those, my friend, are doomed for failure. Obviously, you can’t learn everything about one person in one moment of looking at him or her. That’s why relationships blossoming from friendships evolve. It’s like you go to sleep at night, then wake up in the morning and realize, “holy crap, I really like this guy… when in the hell did that happen?” You learn so much about the other person when you’re just friends that their personality becomes the attractive characteristic, not their entire physical appearance, and then you start actually liking your friend more than a friend. When you and the other person agree on where to eat or where you want to live ten years down the road or drive each other to strive to be better, that’s when the light bulb goes off, where you start thinking, “I might be able to see myself with this person.” Yes, when you start having these thoughts come into your mind, the friendship might get a little complicated and maybe, somewhat awkward, but it’s a part of life. I don’t even think this next part needs to be said, but it will be, clearly not all of these situations always work out like a fairy tale. You might have feelings for the friend that the friend doesn’t reciprocate, and it might suck a bit, but hey, we’re all adults. We can deal. But then there are those times that couldn’t be played out any better… where the chance was the worth it. So for my friends who have feelings for their friends, speak up now or forever hold your peace. Despite the outcome, it’s always better to know than regret.

So when did we all grow up? I suppose that the saying is right, “with age, comes wisdom.”

P.S. This is about as optimistic as you’ll get me to be when it comes to relationships and the like.

“Move Along, Move Along Just to Make it Through”

We all do it my friends. Yesiree we do. We do it by ourselves. We do it with others. We do it in our cars. We do it in our rooms. We even do it in the shower. If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, then you know doing “it” makes us all scream out for joy.

What is “it” you must be wondering? Well, ladies and gentlemen, give yourself a pat on the back because congratulations, we all rock out to our favorite songs and even our not-so-favorite-but-very-catchy songs. (P.S. Get your heads out of the gutter. What did you think I was talking about?) Singing along is like a channel for our emotions when we’re super stoked about something going on or really pissed off at someone for doing something ridiculous. Singing, whether you’re as phenomenal as Celine Dion or suck worse than a live Taylor Swift, it’s just a fun act of living.

We took it as a matter of fate, but whenever my friend Kenna and I were in the same car together, The All-American Rejects song “Move Along” always came on. We’re not the best singers out there (sorry Miss Kenna Kenna, but it’s true), but holy hell did we rock the car with our trying-to-dance-in-our-seat moves and our superb knowledge of the lyrics. Regardless of who heard us, or even saw us, we had a good time. It’s a cold, hard fact that singing makes people happy.

So there I was the other day, sitting in traffic trying to get out of Santa Monica during rush hour. Justin Bieber’s “Baby” comes on. It’s a popular song out in the music industry now, and I caught myself singing to inevitable catchy lyrics. Let’s take a look…

“My first love broke my heart for the first time,

And I was like

Baby, baby, baby, ohhh

Like baby, baby, baby, nooo

Like baby, baby, baby, ohhh

I thought you’d always be mine”

A little bit more song and then…

“For you, I would have done whatever

And I just can’t believe we ain’t together

And I wanna play it cool, but I’m losin’ you

I’ll buy you anything; I’ll buy you any ring

And I’m in pieces, baby fix me

And just shake me ‘til you wake me from this bad dream”

And then, I started wondering. I rushed home, popped open my laptop and did some Googling. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that Justin Bieber was born on March 1, 1994, which means he JUST turned 16. Is he even of legal age to drive a car these days? And yet, here he is, on the radio singing about getting his heart broken. This little boy child is trying to relate to us by performing a song about how his life is over because his first true love is gone. Hrm… really? First off, I don’t think he’s even hit puberty yet. I’m pretty sure my voice is deeper than his. Secondly, I mean hell, I’m 25-years-old and I haven’t even been in love or had my heart broken. A time or two before, my heart had received falsified information and THOUGHT it was broken, but in reality, it was just pissed off at stupid people. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid and his music, but shouldn’t he be singing about butterflies and rainbows and girls having cooties (the total opposite message of that song)?

I mean look at this whole larger picture. People wonder why these young, famous people start acting out as if they are older, well it’s probably because we make them feel older so they think they are. Their agents, parents, talent reps, and whoever else that deals with their careers put these kids in situations where a 16-year-old is trying to interpret his music of love and heartbreak to the rest of the world. Obviously, he needs to come up with these types of emotions in order to do a decent job of singing it. Like all the judges on American Idol say… you have to feeeeel the music. Little Bieber is trying to feel things that a 25-year-old hasn’t even felt.

Look at it from the film/television side of things as well. Actors and actresses always play roles above their age. I would find it a rare occurrence for an actor to actually play a character of his or her own age group (plus or minus a year or two to the actual age). But again, these people are trying to channel situations and feelings that they wouldn’t normally have at their age. I think if you ask any movie fan or critic, actors are only as good as they can channel their characters. If you continue to give these children more mature roles, where are they able to bring themselves back to reality and act like a child? And don’t most parents fight for their kids to remain kids rather than growing up too quickly? Shouldn’t we just let them be their own age? Again here I am, a quarter of a century old, and I still act like I’m 16-years-old at time. Minus my sarcasm and at times, funny wit, I would like to think I still have the charisma of a child. You think children, and you think innocence and genuineness, something that with most people is lost as we get older. So for now, I think we should take a few minutes out of our day and remember what it was like to be young again… when the biggest problems in our lives were our parents not letting us stay out past curfew or who we were going to invite to our next high school dance. Think about it, those were the days my friends.

I Didn’t Get All Dressed up for Nothin’…

Dedicated to Keren Bogaczyk for finally breaking my writer's block... And on to the show...

Do you know what really grinds my gears America? I’ll tell you what really grinds my gears… annoying and/or stupid people. You really will hear me saying, quite often I might add, I hate stupid people. Not even like “book” stupid people because what you might be lacking in book smarts, you might know in “street” smarts. That’s okay. But here’s what I’m talking about…

Those people who talk constantly and who talk to hear their own voice. It’s like, thanks for wasting the last 20 seconds of my life. I now want to smack you so that you lose 20 seconds of your life. You have no point. You make no sense. Just stop talking.

Those people that constantly complain about things that they could easily fix, but don’t do anything about it. Venting is one thing. Being a constant pain in my ass is totally different.

Smart people who pretend to be stupid. Really?! Are you five? Do you think that’s attractive? What makes you think that having a more intelligent conversation with a wall than you is a positive thing? And you know what, that can go either way… stupid people who try to be smart really grind my gears as well.

People who leave about 5 cars’ length in front of them while driving or stopped at a light. And for that matter, people who let car after car after car in front of them and then YOU’RE the one to get stuck at a red light.

Steelers fans. That’s all I need to say about that.

But do you know those people that really irk me more than any other type that I’ve already mentioned?! The people who get DRESSED UP to go to the gym! Congratulations, you have achieved the crown for queen of the stupid people. Give yourself a pat on the back. I just want to yell in their face, "HELLOOOOO, YOU’RE WORKING OUT!" Granted, I do go to a gym in Beverly Hills, and I shouldn’t expect less, but come on now. You’re there to run or do some other form of cardio or to lift or something. This is NOT fashion show. I repeat… this is NOT a fashion show.

You know how in movies, they always show girls playing sports with their hair down? Seeing girls who are dressed up at the gym is like that. It’s just wrong. And I can tell you (along with any other girl that has played a competitive sport), as an ex-soccer player, no girl runs around on the field chasing a ball with their hair down. It’s not feasible. You would think that movie directors would catch on to this nonsense and learn to be a BIT more realistic and show these players with their hair pulled back into a pony tail. I mean hell, if you want them to look cute, put their hair in French braid pig tails and ribbons. That’s what I used to do in 6^th Grade. (It was the cool thing to do back then, don’t judge.)

For a perfect example to this article, as I was working out on Saturday, I saw a girl on the elliptical, probably moving as fast as my dimentiated grandmother would on a treadmill. Her ridiculously long hair was just chillin; no pony tail, no headband, no nothing. She looked like she just walked in off the street, with make-up caked on like whoa times ten and eye make-up darker than anything I would even wear. She was sporting tight black spandex and a cropped, blue spandex top. I don’t think she even broke a sweat. But don’t worry; she was scanning the gym for her future husband like a hawk stalks down its prey.

Let me tell you, when I walk into the gym, I am usually wearing boy's lacrosse shorts and a white Hanes t-shirt (occasionally if I AM feeling fancy, I’ll throw on an Under Armour shirt). Not to mention the fact that I have a ridiculously huge, bulky black knee brace I have to wear. Make-up is washed off. Hair is back in a bun with a hair band wrapped around my entire head to keep all the loose strands back. If you want to talk about the total opposite of cute, that’s it… right there. But hey, I’m there to break a sweat and work out some frustration. It’s only a gym, who would have thought… people, working out? Crazy notion I tell you. So as I conclude this article, I have one plea for all of you... if you want to dress to impress, go somewhere else where people actually care what you look like. If you have resorted to playing your tricks at a gym, congratulations… you have officially hit rock bottom. Oh, and your ridiculousness is not wanted at MY gym! Thank you and good night.

Lions and Tigers and Bears... I Don't Think So...

Dedicated to all of my fellow Twi-hards and fans of True Blood. Enjoy!

P.S. If you don’t know what’s going to happen with the Twilight books and want to find out by reading the books, then don’t read this post yet. It will spoil the last couple of parts… And now, on to the show…

“Lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!” That is classic line from The Wizard of Oz. But come on now, lions and tigers and bears? How 1939! (P.S. In case you didn’t know, that’s when The Wizard of Oz was released.) Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to get caught up with this decade; it’s time to get caught up with what really tickles our fancy these days… “Werewolves and vampires and fairies, OH MY!”

If you know me at all, you knew this article was inevitable, and you know my small obsession for vampires (and creatures of the like). As a fact about me, I read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn in less than seven days. I had to come home from work during my lunch break to find out how Bella and Edward were going to escape the Volturi in Italy. I attempted to go out on the weekends, but how could I get shwasted-face when Bella was being chased down by evil, revenge-seeking vampires and then when she had to choose between her hunky, smart, eloquent vampire and her rustic, down-to-earth, extremely toned, way too young werewolf? How could I live in my own boring and lackluster life when Bella and Edward were on Esme’s Island “doing things?” Lastly, how could I sleep when Bella and Edward had a half vampire, half human child that Jacob had imprinted on and vampire royalty was coming to destroy her? I mean I have to ask you again… HOW?! How is it possible?!

Needless to say, I was a fanatic, but based on discussions with my other girl friends, I wasn’t the only one. 80% of the girls I knew were hooked. Since my friend Michelle knew I couldn’t get enough, she introduced me to The Sookie Stackhouse novels. Another nine books conquered in less than two weeks. I delved further into this black hole of science fiction, hoping of the slight chance this fantasy could come true. So I have to wonder, with hundreds of thousands of other people out there with the same addiction as me, is the werewolf, vampire, and fairy fad here to stay?

You have to admit, since 2008, movies about vampires and other supernatural creatures have been overtaking the big screens as well as home theatres. Let me list a few…

• Twilight (movie)
• New Moon (movie)
• True Blood (tv series)
• Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (movie)
• The Vampire Diaries (tv series)
• The Vampire’s Assistant: Cirque du Freak (movie)
• Daybreakers (movie)

Yes, there’s more, but in an effort to keep this article fewer than two pages, I’m going to stop. Don’t worry the list for upcoming vampire movies for the rest of 2010 and beyond is just as long, if not longer.

So what do you think? Vampires and the like are here to stay or their future is as sure to fading as a vampire is to combust in the sunlight? I think it’s a two-sided answer. Movies like Twilight and series like True Blood will last for much longer because they already have a cult-like following. Twi-hards would rather die before getting the opportunity to see the fourth book on the big screen. And True Blood has the perks of appealing to both guys and girls, and as long as they stick closely enough to the books, it only gets more exciting. On the other hand, new movies with no foundation already instilled on their target audience are doomed for failure. Either the plot lines are going to be too far off of what people really want to watch (i.e. The Vampires Assistant, which according to IMDB was budgeted at an estimated $40M and only made $6M in the States) or they’re going to be too closely related to the already big-time vampire stories and be called knock-offs. And really, who wants to be a fan of a knock-off instead of the real thing? I mean come on now, that’s like preferring regular, off-the-street white trash over the cast of The Jersey Shore. Now really, who wants that?

I’m very much looking forward to the release of Eclipse (which btw, definitely watched that trailer enough times to single-handedly collapse the Internet) and Breaking Dawn (2011 can’t come soon enough) and the remaining seasons of True Blood (let’s see if you can make it all the way to Season 10 because my heart will definitely break if you don’t). But for the rest of these vampire movies coming out, trying to be the next hot thing, do what the vampires do: dig a grave for yourself and disappear into the night because your future is as doomed as driving a Toyota Prius (wait… too soon?).

"Inside Spoon with the Best BF Ever! Love my Life!"

Dedicated to my old roomie and one of my best friends. MISS YOU!

Disclaimer: Some of you might take offense by what is written. It’s not personal. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Dislcaimer 2: If you haven't seen March 8's GG yet, skip the first paragraph.

Monday night, WAHOO! The return of Gossip Girl to the CW.

As I was watching this much anticipated drama-filled entertainment masterpiece, I hushed my boy roommate who was coming downstairs so that I wouldn’t lose concentration on the detailed story line of Serena and Nate getting bad advice from both of their friends, in which Nate uninvited Serena from the French Ambassador’s dinner, and then in retaliation, Serena invited herself to the dinner with Damien, who is an intercontinental drug dealer and has brought little innocent Jenny into the mix, well maybe not quite so innocent as she was there to go to the dinner with Nate who showed solo to keep playing hard to get with Serena, but don’t worry, Nate and Serena ended up making up and then hooking up in the coat room. HOTT!! (Notice the 2 t’s.)

I look back at all of the television shows that I watch (and trust me, there’s a crap ton), and I can tell you one common theme amongst all of them: relationships. Whether or not they are between a guy and a girl, or a guy and a guy, or a girl and a girl, relationships are plastered everywhere. For instance, look at Nate and Serena and Chuck and Blair on Gossip Girl. Cappy and Casey and Grant and Calvin from Greek. Even on crime shows, there’s the whole Callie and Delko relationship from CSI:Miami. Everywhere, every channel we turn to, there it is, right in front of us (literally)… relationships!

Obviously relationships are a part of reality as well. If you’re not in a relationship yourself, then you know someone who is, whether or not you really actually know that person. “What's she talking about?” you must be thinking to yourself. Well, due to the advancement in technology and social networking, we, innocent bystanders, are subjected to the extremely detailed aspects of a person-in-a-relationship’s day. I have just one question for everyone, DO WE REALLY CARE?!?! Do we care if a certain somebody is going couch shopping to pick out that perfect “L-shaped” sectional in that perfect color of chocolate to match the sea-foam colored walls and beige carpets with her super sweet and loving and perfect boyfriend? If we didn’t know that, would our day be ruined? Are we planning on meeting this couple out to help them with their super important “things to do” list? Perhaps, we could offer words of encouragement, such as, YOU CAN DO IT! GO GET THAT COUCH! Cheer them on, and give them that extra push they’ve needed all day long.

In an effort to not solely pick on that one FB status, I have decided to include a few more in here (anonymously, of course), but feel free to scroll down if you feel the urge to vomit all of a sudden.

“Dreamy night with the boy.”

“Waiting for my fabulous dinner to be made by the best BF ever! Love you!”

Girl Wall Post: HI!

Boy Wall Post: HI!

Girl Wall Post: Miss you!

Boy Wall Post: Miss you more!

Girl Wall Post: See you tonight!

Boy Wall Post: Can’t wait!

That just doesn’t even justify a response from me.

"I'm looking forward to our plans tonight. I miss you and can't wait to see you in just a few short hours!"

I’m almost speechless when I read/see crap like that every day, but as you can tell, I’m not totally speechless about it. Let me think of a few words that come to mind: annoying, overly excessive, trying too hard… the list will go on for miles… and miles… and miles. But I’ll spare you the agonizing pain of mentally reliving moments like that. Call me a hater or a skeptic... you’re probably right, but I will tell you one thing, even regular people, people in healthy, normal relationships and other single, optimistic, glass-is-half-full type people find these things to be above and beyond. We are laughing AT you my friend.

I’ve been witness to several types of relationships in my life: some doomed from the start, some starting out from friendships, some starting out from dating websites, some that you never thought would have made it and against all odds, this couple has lasted. Despite how a couple started off, where does the line begin for your own life and your life with your significant other? Growing up, people used to say, “bros before hoes” and “chicks before dicks.” Ultimately, the point coming across both of those messages is, friends first. I’m not saying this is true or played out in real life because I will be the first to tell you when it comes down to it, that statement is lost in translation, but keep in mind, your friends give you your own life, something else to look forward to in your day, other than just spending time with your significant other. Where along the lines do you lose yourself? Some of the people I used to be friends with (key words there are “used to be”) were amazing people. They were smart and loyal and above everything else, always there when a friend was in need. But since those days, they’ve moved on with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and seem to have misplaced that group they once called friends. I don’t see how it’s possible for an individual’s life to be based solely on his or her significant other. When something goes awry in a relationship or God forbid, something happens in your family and you need someone to turn to other than your other half, where are you friends? Those friends that you have spent so much time alienating and distancing yourself from? Perhaps these kid’s are better people than I and no matter how you treat them, they’ll always be there for you, but how is that fair? I just want to know. Maybe it’s a growth thing, something that happens in time with relationships, but finding that balance between friends and boy/girlfriend is a necessity. Girls night. Boys night. Keep in touch with those that love you and have spent so much time getting to know your perfections and imperfections, but still love you anyway. Have something to look forward to other than couch shopping. This is someone speaking from the perspective of an outsider, someone who has lost friendships because of situations like this. I hate to see friendships end because the balance is tipped in favor of the significant other. If I said it once, I’ve said it a million times, if I ever start acting as if my life isn’t my own, run me over with a car because I need the sense knocked into me and the stupidity knocked out of me.

It's Not White... It's Not Black... It's All GREY...

The Oscars, Hollywood’s most anticipated celebration, has come and gone. The red carpet. The dresses. The tuxes. The jewelry. The celebrities. The prestige. The talent. First off, I would like to say congratulations to the nominees and the winners. They were all much deserved. P.S. Sandra Bullock, you looked phenomenal. That dress was absolutely gorgeous on you. P.P.S. Kathryn Bigelow, I am so stoked that you won both for Best Director and Motion Picture. You deserved it all. That movie was beyond words. And did you and James Cameron like make a bet before hand on who would win? Take score on all of the victories? I would have, just to rub it in. But really, congrats!

Anyway, as I was watching some of the cast and crew of The Hurt Locker take stage on this much-looked-forward-to night, I saw something. It was a twinkle of light in the eyes of Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, and Brian Geraghty. This could perhaps be the fact that a movie they all starred in has just won the esteemed Oscar award; however, I think it was something else. I think it was something more powerful and more exciting. I think that it was the amount of fun to be looked forward to at the Oscar after parties.

Oh celebrity parties. I have never been to one, nor do I expect to ever go to one (despite how much I hope and pray), but after having this thought come across my mind, I began to wonder, why isn’t it politically and/or socially correct for celebrities to just get super drunk sometimes? I feel like we, outsiders looking in, tend to judge those in this spotlight for letting loose and putting down those guards, which were put up for us in the first place. Take Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton for instance. I just want to ask you, what were you doing when you were between the ages of 21 and 28? I mean we shouldn’t be blacked-out all of the time (if so, there might be a problem), but an occasional “grey-out” I think is totally acceptable. My friend Ashlyn likes to use this term for those nights where the entire night isn’t blank, but there are certain parts where a good friend might have to fill you in, and whether or not you actually want to hear those grey moments is a completely different story.

I look back at my high school days, my college days, and well… my post-graduate days, and my friends and I knew how to party and knew how to rally. Yes as we got older, those days were limited in number, but what group of friends has 2 keggers in their freshman-year dorms just because? Who organizes a 64-team beer bong tournament for March Madness? What friend can single-handedly create an Oktoberfest and a Beerfest party with games, trophies, and souvenirs? No one cared what were doing or how old we were when we were drinking, so why care what these people are doing? Being the occasional reckless drunk person is a part of growing up. I’m sure many of us could come up with life-long valuable lessons from drunk nights. For instance, just because he’s cute after a few drinks doesn’t mean he’s actually cute. Boys, especially, should go to the bathroom at least three times before actually getting in bed. No matter how good of a reason, NEVER steal your friends’ car keys to go to campus to hook up with a freshman. For those of us that do opt to drink, I don’t think that there is one person who hasn’t had a night like this; whether it be last night or seven years ago, we have all been there my friend. Yesiree, we have.

So again, why do we tend to criticize those in the public limelight that do this occasionally? I think it’s totally acceptable. I think it humanizes celebrities. The celebs are the ones with enough money to go out every night, get tables, and multiple top shelf bottles (another luxury some of us normal peeps don’t have), and yet, they remained somewhat constrained in this box because of us. We, normal, poor people, sacrifice other necessities (oh you know, just little things like food, gas, clothes, etc.) in order to enjoy a good night out with friends. I do hope to see pictures of the winners and noms drunk from Oscar night. Whether it be at the Vanity Fair Party or Elton John’s Viewing Party or another private party, I hope these celebrities show us that they know how to party. We all know they can act. That’s what makes them famous. But, everyone always needs a reality check to remember that these famous people are also just people. Please, I beg of you, get greyed out. Have a friend tell you a story that you don’t remember. You’re famous. You’re doing something that most normal people would love to be doing, mingling amongst all of you, all glam’d up and enjoying the night. Most of you probably aren’t working on Monday, so become one with the night. Take massive amounts of shots with the top shelf liquor. Have drunk munchies of pizza and ramen noodles. Sleep in so the hangover isn’t so bad. Be a normal person every so often. Make stupid mistakes. Wake up and wonder “WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?” It’s all about of being young and making memories, whether they’re crystal clear, greyed out, or just blacked out.

SOUL PATCHES – RIGHT FOR SOME OR WRONG FOR ALL? The Effect of Soul Patches on a 20-Something Woman

Dedicated to Christine Werthman...

The 2010 Olympics were probably the first Olympics that I was truly dedicated to watching since I was about ten-years-old. I’m twenty-five now. Something has definitely happened between then and now to make millions and millions of people tune into the bobsledding, snowboarding, figure skating, skiing, and hockey antics. I can tell you, that personally, I was most excited about Shaun White. What an incredible athlete and the McTwist was just phenomenal! And then, of course, was all the hype with Lindsey Vonn, so I got sucked into watching her succeed and fail in downhill skiing. The last thing that I thought I would be watching was speed skating. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a competitive sport and all, but it just didn’t do anything for me. That is, until I got to watching Apolo Ohno.

At first glance, there was nothing about Apolo Ohno that struck me as a guy I would find attractive. And then I did a double take. It was like a beam of light catching glass. You know what I’m talking about, that little glimmer which has a way to attract your eye. And with that second glance, it hit me like a mack truck. There it was… this strange patch of hair underneath his bottom lip. What was this collection of facial hair that seemed so rare to me? It wasn’t a goatee. It wasn’t a chin strap. No mustache or beard of any sorts. What was it? Finally, after some thorough research and discussion with my fellow journalist, we determined that it was what the general population called a “soul patch.”

The trusty-dusty Wikipedia has defined “soul patch” as “a small patch of facial hair just below the lower lip and above the chin.” I think all of you ladies know what I’m talking about now. You probably have stared at one for a few minutes, hoping that the guy hasn’t noticed you looking at his chin. (In all respects though, if men are allowed to stare at our chests, then we are allowed to stare at their odd facial features). Despite your personal feelings for these “soul patches,” you have to admit, they draw you in. It’s like staring at those “3-D” books, where you have to keep staring and go into a daze until you see the true picture clearly. Whether or not you absolutely despise them or think it adds character to a face or just overall are a fan (there’s probably not too many of those types out there), there’s something about them that just makes you want to gaze some more.

Thankfully for Apolo, that soul patch made me look back at him and realize, wow, you really are a hot, good looking guy, even with that small mane of hair on your face. I’ll give it to you, though, you can rock it, and to be honest, I don’t know what’s a more distinguishing feature about you: the soul patch or the blue and red bandanas that you always seem to be wearing. (Side note: Do you like flip a coin every morning to figure out which one to wear or does it depend on the entire ensemble you have going on? Just curious.) So after I realized I had become completely attracted to this guy, I joined the masses and watched him throughout the Olympics, while he won a few more medals to add to his collection and watched him get DQ’d after a cheap call by the Canadian ref.

After this quick transformation of my feelings towards Apolo, I began to think, “could all soul patches have this effect on women my age?!” Was this really possible? Did soul patches have that strong of an effect on people? Based on what you could call research, I’m going to say no. Many of my girl friends seem to look at me with a “you-are-the-most-bizzaro-nutso-girl-we-know” look when I mention my new found love for Apolo. I decided to check out more modern celebs with soul patches to see how I felt. Here’s what I found:

Zac Efron – Stay away. Your soul patch is a little dinky, and probably should be shaved as soon as possible. Spare your fans and the papz. No one wants to see you like that.

Colin Farrell – You’re a badass and can probably rock anything on your face. One, because you won’t care what anyone says and two, you have that hot, scruffy look going on in which the soul patch and the mustache look pretty damn good together.

Howie Mandell – No offense, you’re kinda creepy-looking to begin with. And the soul patch just enhances that creepiness like whoa times ten. I would highly recommend to sticking with the main idea, and going bald, everywhere on your face.

Kevin Costner – Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t hate it, but at the same time I don’t love it. You’re a good-looking older guy with or without the soul patch.

Bill Ray Cyrus – I think you, my friend, give soul patches the bad connotation that is associated with them. You kind of are a country bumpkin and sporting the soul patch makes us think that they are relatively trashy and totes out-dated. It’s about time to try a new look. It’s definitely on the outs with you.

Spencer Pratt – You are a douchebag. You need to do something with your life. On The Hills, I never see you working, which means you have more than enough time to shave that pitiful soul patch of yours off your already annoying face. Think of it as a cleansing process, physically and mentally. Start anew.

Johnny Depp – Ohhh, Mr. Depp, you can most certainly rock the soul patch. You could rock anything for that matter.

After all is said and done, I am going to go out in a limb, and say that about 70% of those that have soul patches should just take a brown paper bag and put it over their heads. Keep it there until some common sense has been knocked into your head and you decide to take a razor to the face. Now, for those select 30% of you that can rock the soul patches, just keep in mind, that if you look good in a misplaced mustache, imagine how glorious you would look without it. I’m just saying…